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Insight As The Healing Force In Addiction Recovery With Harry Derbitsky

June 19, 2019 By Alexandra Amor

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“HarryIt is likely that addiction has touched your life in some capacity, either personally or with someone you know. This is certainly true for me. My darling departed brother was a recovered alcoholic and I remember him mentioning the dismal statistics that Alcoholic Anonymous cited. That number is up for debate, but whichever way you look at it, it’s not great.

Perhaps there’s another way. A path that relies less on will power and more on leaning into our true nature of innate health and well-being. In episode 2 I had a conversation about this with Greg Suchy, and today I talk to his co-host of the Addiction, Alcoholism and the Three Principles webinar series, Harry Derbitsky.
Harry Derbitsky

Harry Derbitsky’s book Evolution of Addiction Recovery is out now and has testimonials from psychiatrist Dr. Bill Pettit and psychologist Dr. Amy Johnson. This unique offering by an early student of Sydney Banks provides a roadmap to the spiritual and psychological nature of the Three Principles for addiction recovery.

It includes indigenous or native American chapters and is available at Amazon and in certain bookstores. Harry and recovery coach Greg Suchy co-host the bi-monthly webinar and YouTube series called Addiction, Alcoholism and the Three Principles.

You can find Harry at ACTTraining.biz

You can listen above or on iTunes or your favorite podcast app. Below are the show highlights and full transcript.

Show Notes

Evolution of Addiction Recovery
  • How Syd Banks defined jumping the boundaries of time
  • Why the 3 Principles appeal to those looking for a spiritual-psychological answer about addiction
  • How the field of addiction recovery is evolving
  • On the involvement of insight in addiction recovery for those like Bill W.
  • The restriction to mental health of labeling oneself as having a disease
  • How the Three Principles work as a health model, rather than a disease model

continue reading…

Why You’re Not Broken with Christian McNeill

April 24, 2019 By Alexandra Amor

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“doingWhen I first began exploring the Three Principles, one of the most difficult ideas to get my head around was that we are all whole, always, no matter what has happened to us in our lives. In this interview with Christian McNeill, we touch on this as it relates to ‘healing’ from our past and also as it relates to grief we may experience in the present.
Stop suffering about being broken

In the introduction, I mention this blog post, where I discuss my diminishing need to comfort myself as I explore this understanding. And I also mention the post about my daily soda habit that dropped away recently. You can read that here. (Or listen to it. I also recorded it as an audio file.)

And I also mention the new ebook and audiobook that’s available that ties in so beautifully with the topic of this interview. You can get your free copy of Stop Suffering About Being Broken (Because You’re Not) here.

Christian McNeill

Christian McNeill is a 50-something coach and trainer, living in Glasgow, Scotland. She’s the mother to two grown children and was a lawyer for over 30 years. In her 20s, she got over a drinking problem and, for many years, she had a secret side career of trying to be happy. In early 2011, she stumbled across the Three Principles Paradigm and discovered how to be happy without trying. She now works with individuals and organizations, helping them to flourish. She also teaches and mentors others wishing to learn about the Three Principles Paradigm. And today, her side career is as a yoga teacher.

You can find Christian at ElementsOfWellBeing.net

You can listen above or on iTunes or your favorite podcast app or watch the video here. Highlights, notes, resources and full transcript below.

Show Notes

  • On the varying ways people react to their busy minds
  • Christian’s observation that using old healing paradigms no-one gets past their childhood trauma
  • The essence of everyone that is whole and unbreakable
  • A different outlook on the past once we understand the nature of Thought
  • On the nature of grief and exploring that from the inside-out
Continue Reading…

The Diminishing Need to Comfort Myself

April 22, 2019 By Alexandra Amor

As we begin to understand what Thought really is, our need to protect ourselves from our personal thinking and our feelings naturally drops away.

“doingI’ve been someone who pretty consistently felt a deep need to comfort myself throughout my adult life. It was the way I figured out how to cope with life and with the thoughts and sometimes uncomfortable feelings I was having. I used food, television, routine, and wine to a certain extent, to soothe and comfort myself about life.

For example, each evening just before supper time, I would try to think of a comforting TV show that I could watch with my dinner. Something I loved, usually something lighthearted with kind characters and a few laughs. I’m more a Parks and Recreation and Grace and Frankie person than Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad.

vintage tv

At times, of course, there were things to watch that I enjoyed, especially during the regular North American TV season between October and May. But at other times, I had watched everything I could find that comforted me. So I’d go back and rewatch old episodes, though that was less satisfying and I felt less comforted. Or I’d go on a desperate search to find a movie or new TV show that would fill my need for comfort.

I could see what I was doing. I knew I was seeking comfort or soothing. Some people call this ‘numbing’ but that description didn’t seem to accurately describe my experience. And it seemed judgmental or blaming. I was already feeling bad enough about myself, I didn’t need to heap another judgment on top of that.

This pattern went on for years; eating for comfort, trying to find TV shows that felt comforting, drinking one glass of wine too many at night. I hated it.

Outside-In Strategies

I knew something was wrong and I tried desperately to ‘fix’ myself so that I wouldn’t need comforting. I thought if I meditated more or worked really hard to ‘rewire my brain’ so that I spent more time in positive thinking I wouldn’t need to be soothed. I did more yoga and tried to learn to speak to myself in a more loving and compassionate way. None of it worked.

Not that there’s anything wrong with any of these techniques, but I can now see they were all outside-in approaches. When we try to fix or soothe ourselves from the outside-in, it’s like playing whack-a-mole, as Amanda Jones and I recently discussed. 

The reason outside-in approaches don’t work is that it is the nature of our thoughts to change and fluctuate all the time. By trying to fix or change our thinking and the moment-to-moment energy of thought that is flowing through us, we’re attempting to harness the wind. It’s just not possible.

elevator

But when we are introduced to the idea that the flowing nature of thought is completely natural, and the rise and fall of consciousness that we all go through all day, every day, is also completely normal, then we begin to understand that there’s no need to change or ‘fix’ our thinking.

[For more on the ‘elevator of consciousness’ listen to this episode of the Little Peace of Mind podcast with Shannon Cooper.]

And with that awareness, I noticed my need to comfort myself dropping away all by itself. I’m not using will-power to stop bad habits. I’m learning about the nature of thought and how our minds really work, and my habit of trying to comfort myself is dropping away all by itself.

Suddenly in the evenings I don’t feel the desperate need for comfort TV any longer. I feel peaceful enough to read or to take online courses.

Here’s something really unexpected: my kitchen is cleaner than it’s ever been. I used to let the dishes pile up for 2 or 3 days because I needed to spend my time in the evening comforting myself with TV, not doing a chore like the dishes that didn’t comfort me at all.

Now, because I have less need for comfort, I simply get up after supper and do the dishes right away. And it happened naturally. I didn’t need to bargain with myself or promise myself a treat. It just happened.

I had been dealing with the desperate need to comfort myself for 30 years. To see it drop away on its own is nothing short of miraculous. 

All thanks to the simple awareness of the misunderstanding about how humans work.

Have you noticed any unexpected shifts in your behavior, subtle or otherwise, since learning about this understanding? Please leave your thoughts below and join the conversation.

[Teddy image courtesy Marina Shatskih and Unsplash. Vintage TV image courtesy Sven Scheuermeier and Unsplash. Elevator image courtesy Sara Kurfeb and Unsplash.]

Compassionate, Lasting Addiction Recovery with Greg Suchy

April 3, 2019 By Alexandra Amor

http://media.blubrry.com/stopsufferingabout/p/s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/ssapodcast/Ep2GregSuchy.m4a

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Addictions and bad habits are things most of us can relate to. I certainly can!

“HowToday I chat with Greg Suchy about approaching addiction in an entirely new way, using the Three Principles. Greg has had experience with the AA model, but found himself drawn to the Principles when he was introduced to them. After finding his life turned around, he now coaches and teaches others about this understanding.
Greg Suchy and Monkey

Greg Suchy is a life coach with a focus on helping those struggling with habits and addictions. He has also been hosting an addiction webinar series for over two years as well as the local meeting he started recently in Akron, Ohio. He is passionate about helping others live their lives with a greater sense of ease and comfort. [That’s Greg and his cat Monkey in the photo at right. Monkey made a surprise guest appearance on the show. 😉 ]

You can listen above or on iTunes or your favorite podcast app or watch the video here. Below are the highlights, resources we mention, and full transcript.

Show Notes

  • Why and how the 3 Principles helped Greg deal with his addictions
  • Letting go of ‘The Story of Me’
  • Uncovering our innate resilience
  • How we are seeking our innate serenity with our addictions and habits

Resources Mentioned in this Episode

  • Greg Suchy and Harry Derbitsky’s Addiction and the 3 Principles Facebook group
  • And their YouTube channel
  • Book: The Serenity Principle by Joseph Bailey
  • Joseph Bailey’s website
  • Dr. Bill Pettit
Continue Reading…

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